Great News and Reviews

First the great news… I am so pleased to share that my sister will soon be joining The Newlywed Life. Her boyfriend, ahem, fiancé, popped the question – and a fabulous diamond ring – yesterday and officially asked her to marry him. I couldn’t be happier and am excited for them both.



The bling-bling. He’s off to a great start!

Now the review, I am also pleased to share a great review of my new book on a fun website I discovered a few months ago, Polka Dot Bride. Ms. Polka was gracious enough to send me a link to her review of the book so I thank her kindly and invite you to stop by and pay her a visit.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Six Sexy Do's and Don'ts

It’s Hump Day at The Newlywed Life, the one day a week I dish about sex. In honor of the official release of my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage, here’s six do’s and don’ts from the book to help keep your sex life… sexy:

Do take the time to create the sex life you want. You have your whole life to build your sex life. That’s why it’s called a sex life.

Don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. Married or not – period.

Do what makes you feel sexy. Wear pretty panties, shave your legs, and shower yourself with fragrant body wash. Take the time to do the things that make you feel sexy.

Do have a nooner. Meet at home for lunch… and skip the lunch!

Do keep your sex life interesting. There’s nothing worse than boring sex…except more boring sex.

Do experiment with sex toys and games. There’s a wide assortment of fun and safe toys and games available to enhance your sex life. Spice it up and have some fun.



To purchase a copy of Help! I’m a Newlywed for yourself or as a gift for a new bride visit AskWifey.com or Amazon.com.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Daily Dose of Do’s and Don’ts

It’s Marriage Monday at The Newlywed Life and this week I’ve got three tips for you to consider as you and your new hubby settle into your new roles as husband and wife.

Don’t expect your husband to nurture you like a woman does. It’s just not how most men are made. It that’s what you need, call your mother, your sister or your girlfriends.

Do know that husbands have selective hearing. They can hear the game on television that’s across the room while they’re sleeping, but you can talk five feet in front of their face and they many not hear a word you’re saying.

Don’t jump on him when he walks through the door from work. Women are ready to vent; men need at least fifteen minutes, and a trip to the bathroom.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in your marriage but there is something wrong with not finding out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wives' Words

When I'm starting something new, when I don’t know what to do or if I’m just scared to death, I always find it comforting to hear other people’s experiences. Knowing that I’m not alone, and that other people have gone through what I’m experiencing, and survived, often gives me that edge to move forward and to excel. That’s exactly why I talked to many veteran wives and included their words of wisdom in my book, "Help! I'm a Newlywed...What Do I Do Now?" I love hearing other people’s perspectives and often finding great advice in the process.

I’ve decided to share some of that here at The Newlywed Life. The “Wives’ Words” below are pulled from my book, however, moving forward I will continue to interview more wives who can share some of their experiences with you. If you have any questions that you would like answered please do let me know.

What did you expect the first year of marriage to be like?

“I thought the first year was supposed to be the ‘honeymoon’ phase where everything was lovey-dovey. The honeymoon phase ended after the honeymoon!” —Nancy, married two years

“I thought the first year would be no different than living together. NOT TRUE. Marriage is a living institution and you have no idea what to expect until you are in it.” —Rachel, married 12 years

“I expected it to be good and bad because each relationship goes through phases. I honestly didn't expect it to be as rough as it was though the first year. … I was looking for more of a ‘fairy tale’ type first year and that was very unrealistic.” —Monica, married three years

“I thought we would have a lot more fun than we actually did. It was work from the start.” —Hope, married 14 years

“I knew that the first year of marriage would be filled with fun moments and hard adjustments. I was wise enough to know that it would be a time of testing but foolish enough to believe that I could endure it.” —Angela, married 16 years

“I expected my marriage to be very easy. My husband and I dated for five years prior to getting married and lived together most of that time, so I thought being married was going to be a breeze. Whoever said if you live with a person, if you marry them things would be the same…not so.” —Quisa, married 1 year

“I thought we would instantly have this solid partnership/marriage because we communicated very well. We eventually built a solid partnership/marriage, but it took much work and continues to take more work than I ever thought it would.” —Ndidi, married six years

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Don’t Harp on Silly Stuff

It’s Marriage Monday at The Newlywed Life, when I write about the magic, the mayhem and how to create or avoid them. This morning I’m sharing some advice out of my book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now?, that is guaranteed, gasp! - yes, I said guaranteed - to help you avoid the mayhem if you follow it.

Don’t harp on silly stuff.

Yes it really is that simple. Who cares if the toilet seat is up or down, or if the cap is on the toothpaste? Get a grip, or your own toothpaste, and let the gripe go!

It’s so cliché to even address some of these stereotypical gripes, so I’ll be really brief. Life is too short to give the toilet seat so much of your precious time. Once you get into your marriage, you’ll realize that there are bigger fish to fry, hills to climb, battles to pick (since I’m being cliché, why not go there?), and that it really doesn’t make much difference if he lowers the toilet seat or not. The following is probably the simplest piece of advice that I can give: if you go to use the bathroom and he left the toilet seat up…put it down.

It used to drive me crazy when Husband would come home from work, step out of his pants, and leave them on the floor of our walk-in closet. I just knew it was the end of the free world. I tried to figure out how I was going to tell him to pick his pants up without sounding like a nag. Then I stopped thinking about me, me, me and I put myself in his shoes, or in this case his pants. OK, but seriously, I thought about how he might feel. Maybe it would drive him crazy that he can’t step out of his pants and leave them on the floor. After all, it is his closet, too. His house, too. If he can’t leave his pants on the floor of his closet in his house, where else could he possibly have the freedom to leave them?

After thinking about it like that, his pants on the floor suddenly didn’t seem so serious. Most of the time, I don’t even notice his pants anymore. If I see them on the floor and feel the need, I pick them up and drop them in the hamper. If not, after a day or two – amazingly, he picks them up himself.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in your marriage, but there is something wrong with not finding out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

What’s the Best Thing that Happened to You During Your First Year of Marriage?

That’s a question I asked and included in the “Wives’ Words” section of my book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Answers varied from “We became better friends,” to “We got to make love whenever we wanted to and a whole lot,” to “I realized my husband loved me and was trying as hard as I was to learn how to be a good mate.”

There’s no right or wrong answer – as long as you have one. Just like planning your wedding, planning the rest of your life can be stressful and consuming. Your newlywed year is flying by and you don’t want to miss the wonderful “first times” that come with your first year. Do you remember the first time your husband introduced you as his wife? Or, the first time someone called you “Mrs. So & So?” I was in the doctor’s office and didn’t quite realize the “Mrs. Robertson” they were calling was me.

There are many magical moments that happen during your first year of marriage. Make sure to memories of them. So often it’s the drama that stands out in our minds, when it should be those special irreplaceable times.

So, how about you? What’s the best thing that’s happened to you during your first year of marriage? New wives everywhere want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Georgia Bridal Show

I had a fabulous time yesterday at The Georgia Bridal Show. It’s always fun to meet new brides, share in the excitement and to remind them that there actually is life after the wedding.

Thanks to all the wonderful people who stopped by my booth to say hello and purchase a book.



Congratulations to all the new brides and always remember, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in marriage, but there is something wrong with not finding out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Book Signing...

I will be signing books at The Georgia Bridal Show on Sunday, June 22, from 12-5 p.m. at The Gwinnett Center. If you live in the Atlanta area please do stop by to say hello and get your copy…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Why?

“Why,” somebody asked me, “after nine years of marriage are you still interested in the newlywed year?”

“Because it’s the beginning,” I responded quickly, “it’s important and it’s often overlooked.”

Constantly overshadowed by her big sister, the wedding day, the first year of marriage often receives little preparation or attention until couples are swirling around in the midst of it. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good wedding and a fabulous party, but it’s the marriage that is most important. The newlywed year starts the foundation of a marriage and that can be scary as *#%@! I wish I had a resource that provided practical advice and reassurance during my newlywed year. At that time there weren’t many options so I took matters into my own hands – literally – and wrote a book about it.

Below is an excerpt from Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage. It’s the intro to the book that shares a little insight about why I wrote it and continue to stay passionate about newlywed life…

Why I Wrote This Book

Help! I’m a newlywed… what do I do now? That’s a thought most new wives have at some time — in the kitchen, or the bedroom, when the in-laws come to visit, or maybe during everyday conversation with your husband. Regardless of where or why you thought it — you did! And if you’re anything like me, you were probably too scared to ask anyone what you should do. That’s exactly why I wrote Help! I’m a Newlywed… What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage.

As a former glowing bride, I found my wedding day to be the happiest, most magical day of my life. I married my best friend, Napoleon, a man I had been involved with for more than five years and was engaged to for one. I was ecstatic that I found the man I wanted to start a family with, to travel around the world with, and to share denture cream with once we’re old and gray. My face beamed brightly all day, and I have very expensive pictures to prove it. I was absolutely certain that I had made the right decision — I love this man madly — so why was I about to go crazy?

I must’ve read every bridal magazine in existence during my engagement. They were very informative about everything leading up to my wedding. The problem was that very little information was available about what to do when I got back from my tropical-paradise honeymoon. Not much for when we walked through the door as husband and wife and had to live with each other — and like it! There was no one saying, “It’s going to be an adjustment,” or “It’s OK not to know what to do now.” All I heard was “You must be so happy” or “You’re so lucky to be married.” Now don’t get me wrong, I was happy, but I was also terrified of my new role in my relationship!

One day, I finally got up the nerve to ask my mother why Napoleon and I were fighting more than usual. And then I asked my aunt why I had to cook dinner every night. And what was I supposed to cook? I even asked my girlfriend how to get my husband to pick up his dirty clothes after he steps out of them each day.

After opening my mouth and screaming, “Help! I’m a newlywed… what do I do now?” I found out that I wasn’t alone. And most important, that I was perfectly normal. I discovered that millions of women and men have millions of questions about being married and that doesn’t mean they don’t love their spouses or don’t like being married. It just means they need help. So here it is… help… to hopefully make things a little easier for you and your new hubby.

Now I must tell you that I am not a doctor, a counselor or a therapist. I have not completed years of scientific research, nor do I plan to bore you, or myself, with any. I’m a wife. Correction, I’m a happy, loving, sometimes frightened, confused and frustrated but willing-to-learn, madly-in-love-with-my-spouse, still-figuring-things-out wife — just like you. I’ve successfully survived the newlywed years — my husband and I are celebrating eight exciting years together — and we continue to work hard to make our marriage work.

Now some of the advice in this book is first-hand, about things that I’ve done and some are things I wish that I did. I’ve drawn from my own ongoing experiences in this exciting world of marriage and I thought it would be helpful to share all of this with you. Plus, I’ve talked to countless brides and wives — newly engaged, freshly married and old-school veterans — and have taken into account their stories, joys and fears. I’ve asked for advice and suggestions from women and men of all ages, and I welcome yours, too.

My goal is to help new wives (and husbands, too) through the kinks of their happy but also scary new unions by offering suggestions for the many challenges and situations that they may face during the beginning of marriage. Hearing that other people were going through some of the same, very real adjustments of marriage that Napoleon and I were going through — no matter how large, small or silly they seemed — left me comforted and more confident in our relationship. I hope it will for you, too.

However, it’s very important for you as a new wife to understand that every individual and couple is different. Some people face different obstacles than others and some handle the same obstacles in different ways. It is crucial to your relationship that you as a couple handle the challenges that you face in your marriage in ways that make you both comfortable and happy.

The Do’s and Don’ts in this book are suggestions that I and many other newlyweds have found to be helpful. Some you may agree with, and some you may not. That’s perfectly OK! Do take this book seriously and take all the advice that suits you, but also take it with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. And, most importantly, don’t take anyone’s advice (even mine) if you are not comfortable with it!

I love my husband, I love being married — and I’d love to keep it that way. In writing this book, I’m not only trying to help you, but to help myself, too. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in your marriage, but there is something wrong with not finding out!

Happy Marriage & Best Wishes,
Wifey