Monday, July 28, 2008

The Man Rules Part II

Last Monday, I posted Part 1 of The Man Rules… here’s Part II:

The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear!

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

2 comments:

Kimmylyn said...

I laughed out loud again..

I love the if your think your fat you probably are line.. only because that is a joke in my house "it is not the pants that make your butt look big"..hahahaha

Wifey said...

That's clasic, right? Smiles. My favorite is the one from last week about not looking like the Victoria's Secret girls, then don't expect us to act like the soap opera dudes. Too funny.