If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em

This week’s Wives’ Words appropriately marks the beginning of football season…

“All I can say is have patience and if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Sit and watch the games with him at least every now and then. If that doesn’t work, put a teddy on if need be and give him a halftime show he’ll never forget.” – Allison, married 12 years.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in your marriage but there is something wrong with not finding out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wives’ Words, Living Together, Part 2

Real wives share their thoughts on living together…

“This can be a challenge, making yours and mine into ours. My advice would simply be to be open to change and if necessary learn to love that ugly favorite chair, painting, 49rs pillow (whatever ‘it’ may be). Set some ground rules as to what is expected as far as grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. A lot of assumptions are made about who is doing what.” —Allison, married 12 years

“Being compatible helps and respectful the way any roommate should act.” —Sharon, married eight years

“Try to really be honest about who you are, and your beliefs before you move in together. It is a lot easier to deal with major differences if you don't feel like someone has done a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on you, just to get you in.” —Hope, married 14 years

“Be patient.” —Ndidi, married six years

“Your home should be a place of solitude and relaxation when you both come home from a long day's work.” —Monica, married three years

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in your marriage, but there is something wrong with not finding out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wives’ Words: Living Together, Part 1

Real wives share their thoughts on living together…

“Whatever habits existed before the marriage will be there afterwards. Don’t expect too much change. If he was a slob the night before the ceremony he will be that same slob the next morning.” —Cheryl, married five years

“Don't project yourself onto your spouse and get mad if he doesn't do it your way (cleaning up, cooking paying bills). Work it out and figure out who likes (doesn't mind) doing what.” —Robin, married six years

“You will be exposed to habits that will annoy the hell out of you. You can nag about everything, but that will be a total drag – for you and for him! If your husband, no matter how many times you ask him, never seems to be able to put a new toilet paper roll in the bathroom, then it may be better for your sanity to just know that you’ll be the toilet paper replacer in the family.” —Nancy, married two years

“Be very careful living together is different than being married. We lived together a year before getting married and it was amazing we still did not skip the one year situations that have to be worked out. Marriage is a totally different creature.” —Rachel, married 12 years

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do in your marriage, but there is something wrong with not finding out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wives' Words

When I'm starting something new, when I don’t know what to do or if I’m just scared to death, I always find it comforting to hear other people’s experiences. Knowing that I’m not alone, and that other people have gone through what I’m experiencing, and survived, often gives me that edge to move forward and to excel. That’s exactly why I talked to many veteran wives and included their words of wisdom in my book, "Help! I'm a Newlywed...What Do I Do Now?" I love hearing other people’s perspectives and often finding great advice in the process.

I’ve decided to share some of that here at The Newlywed Life. The “Wives’ Words” below are pulled from my book, however, moving forward I will continue to interview more wives who can share some of their experiences with you. If you have any questions that you would like answered please do let me know.

What did you expect the first year of marriage to be like?

“I thought the first year was supposed to be the ‘honeymoon’ phase where everything was lovey-dovey. The honeymoon phase ended after the honeymoon!” —Nancy, married two years

“I thought the first year would be no different than living together. NOT TRUE. Marriage is a living institution and you have no idea what to expect until you are in it.” —Rachel, married 12 years

“I expected it to be good and bad because each relationship goes through phases. I honestly didn't expect it to be as rough as it was though the first year. … I was looking for more of a ‘fairy tale’ type first year and that was very unrealistic.” —Monica, married three years

“I thought we would have a lot more fun than we actually did. It was work from the start.” —Hope, married 14 years

“I knew that the first year of marriage would be filled with fun moments and hard adjustments. I was wise enough to know that it would be a time of testing but foolish enough to believe that I could endure it.” —Angela, married 16 years

“I expected my marriage to be very easy. My husband and I dated for five years prior to getting married and lived together most of that time, so I thought being married was going to be a breeze. Whoever said if you live with a person, if you marry them things would be the same…not so.” —Quisa, married 1 year

“I thought we would instantly have this solid partnership/marriage because we communicated very well. We eventually built a solid partnership/marriage, but it took much work and continues to take more work than I ever thought it would.” —Ndidi, married six years

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey